Am I a worthy person?

Change

I feel so sad, I am the worst human being alive.

I have the chance to change my live, to have a better lifestyle, not to be a materialistic person but at least to have a safer place for my mom and I to stay, but I am a freaking stupid person ever. 

I have the chance to have savings with Amos and to settle down without any financial burden and not letting him worry about me every month having enough money to survive or to use, but I blow it up.

I keep on being freaking lazy, stupidly doing things rather than working, not sure who to find, everything stuck on my mind, I really don't know what to do, it's a whole new year, I really want to change, I want to change it all for good. It's freaking hard and tough. I want to change, I really want to. 

I don't want him to feel that I am the burden

I don't want my mom to work so hard

I don't want this and that, yet I still haven't show any improvement any changes. 

I am so sad, I can't tell anyone about this. It's my own fault, I being so freaking lazy, not being so efficient and not being a professional insurance agent. 

I want to earn money, I would love to, but my body is so damn lazy, keep on giving excuses from keeping myself moving forward. 

It's sad that how much he support me in this career, no matter how much he encourages me, I really would want the best for us. I really want

It's hard for me, I feel like giving up, giving up this career, this life. Why am I so freaking selfish...

All those dreams and hopes, I don't want it to vanish just like that... There's too much things to do, to achieve and to own together, when do I want to grow up? Why am I so childish so stupid? When should I start working? 

January is coming to an end, I show no improvement in me, I'm sorry if I really disappointed you, I really want to the best for us. But action speaks louder than words, I hope I will not disappoint you...

Thank you for sayang me, thank you for supporting me, thank you for believing me, thank you for love me.

you are just an insurance agent

you are not professional

you are too young

It's a cruel world that people often see others by their positions, wealth, power.

If you are not earning enough money, then you are just a normal human being

 '

Thank You 2017

Hello again, I am back with a wonderful, thrilling and overwhelming journey of 2017, I am blessed and appreciated all the things around me. I had a wonderful year, making lots of new friends, new job, new surrounding and new image of me, for those who appear in my life, I am truly thankful for all these happen to me. Thank you Lord <3 

First of all, I would like to formally introduce myself, I am Michelle! An insurance agent who worked under Great Eastern company! I am a full time agent, please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any inquiries, I would love to help out! 

It's my first full time job and I was actually quite scared in the beginning, afraid of making the wrong choices, the wrong move. I was thinking of further my studies or start working, after a long consideration, well I choose to start making money. It is a very tough journey for me, even until now! But, I never regret of choosing this job, I learn a lot of thing! I got to explore many places, in fact some of it are free! To be honest, I never thought of working as an financial advisor, I was approached by a church member and she explained to me that how this career changed her life, and I could say that this career truly helped her to overcome the hardships she faced in the past. I would like to give myself a chance to understand more this career and now I am really really love this job! hahaha long story short, I should work extra hard and be more discipline in finding more clients for my monthly salary increment! 

On a very expensive Yacht haha my hard earn trip!

My first recognition in Great Eastern company!

GREAT EASTERN CEO!!!! I AM SO BLESSED I GOT TO TAKE A PHOTO WITH HIM!!!!
This photo was taken on Bangkok trip! It was company trip and it is freeeee

Up Next! Would love to share about him :D 

We had our First anniversary together on 3rd of Oct, it feels like I have been together with him for decades! hahaha Hate to admit that we do have fights and arguments, but Thanks God for bringing us together stronger and better. Come to think of it, my childishness always, like ALL THE TIME... start the arguments, making all nonsense facts and excuses, always make things worst during the arguments, I really want to grow up so so soon, so that he don't have to worry about me at all. Despite all of my weaknesses, he still loves me so much. Thank you for loving me so much! 

In 2017, we had created some wonderful memories too, travelling is my favorite among all! I get to have a short getaway and relax, most importantly, he is by my side during the trip. 

Beside travelling, I love to serve with him too! Knowing that you have a companion when you serving God, it feels totally different and I love it when we got to serve HIM together. 

And there's another reason why I want to want to breakthrough this 2018, I want to grow up, I want to have income increment and everything is all because of him and my mom. I want to take one step further with him in future, but not when I having financial burden, childishness etc, I want to have a better future with him. For my mom, I want to buy a better house for her, better and safer surrounding for us. All these are my greatest motivations. It's hard, but I have to fight for a better future better me. 

hahhahaha

All I want for Christmas is You

Ending my 2017 and start my 2018 with you

My lovely mom

 2017 definitely a life changing path for me, mix in tears, anger, sadness and laughter. But only happy moments remain in my heart and I couldn't say that I did well in 2017 because I did not, I hope that in the year of 2018, I leave no empty promises and disappointment in my life again, I know I am not alone! Thank you God, mom and most importantly thank you dear, for your unfailing love. I love you <3

Michelle Wong

Where my heart is

Langkawi Trip
We drove from Penang to Alor Setar early in the morning, I was so excited and I couldn't sleep before going to Langkawi, (I highly advise to get some nap or sleep before travel to some places because sleepy will influence the day you went travelling) It was raining cats and dog but it couldn't wash away my happiness in the car, we sang so much and we talked a lot of things until we didn't even realize we reached Alor Setar. The rain stopped too and the sun shine bright like a diamond haha I was so nervous because we were going to Amos friend's house, all strangers!!!! Don't know any of them, but anyway we ate breakfast and his friend's mom fetch us to Kedah ferry to head to Langkawi.
It took about approximately 2hours to get to Langkawi, Thank God I got to sleep inside the ferry or else I will be a dying dead fish during trip hahahahaha

queuing up to on board ferry

Kedah view

Crystal clear langkawi beach!

A quick selfie before head to apartment!

Long story short, after fetching some of his friends from Jetty and airport, we all reach the apartment and get to rest until dinner time. We dine in to a Indian shop(?) to tried their bryani etc rice, I shared with Amos and the yogurt sauce tasted so good :D After dinner we went to a mall and shop for beers and wines. We then back to apartment and have some precious time with the friends, they were all so good with alcohol, and good in being sarcastic too hahahahaha  

On the second day, we went to visit the famous place with the eagle statue on it, there were so many people but we eventually got to take some pictures with it, not sure the eagle statue will be taken down by the government or not but well at least I got to see it the last time (or not) hahaaha next we went to visit makam mahsuri museum, it was so hot inside there, and there wasn't anything interesting la, but still get to know the history of langkawi.

Look at the eagleeeeeee

So manyyyyy people

lai a selfie

Makam mahsuri

houses in the past

hahaahahahaha

snap!

after that we headed to Langkawi sky cable, there were so many people and you have to queue up to wait for your turn to sit a cable car.

On the way to cable car

hahaha

too bad the weather is not that good

another one!

It was so cold up there and you can see the scenery of Langkawi wayyyyy up there, it was a good experience and after that we quickly come down because the time is up for dinner! Too bad we couldn't went to the beaches and other places due to lack of time, at night we head to pantai cenang nearby there to have our dinner. Tiring dayyyyy

The next day, we check out from our apartment and had our breakfast at the nearby stall, then went to a duty free shop to buy some chocolates and gifts for friends and family, after a short break we then depart from Jetty back to Kedah :) End of tripppppp 

It was a fun and relaxing trip for me because I got to sleep and eat and rest hahahaha it is a nice place for couple, friends and family to visit langkawi and the price are all so cheap and affordable, recommended place for me. hhahahaha

KL Trip
Shortly after a few days, I went to Kl trip for the GI 'final attack gathering', I had to say that it wasn't my pleasant trip due to the accommodation, activities, the talk, and the time for the activities. We stay at the 'Sri hotel Malaysia' near KLIA and I can say that it didn't look like hotel at all, the place not as good as I expected and the public toilet always out of service, I need to walk further away from the hall just for toilet. hahaha And I think I dislike this trip is because I don't know anyone there at all, everyone there having fun time with their friends and chic chatting and I keep standing there awkwardly, seriously for 3days! So awkward and I miss Penang so much. :'( And the last thing which I hate the most is the talk(some sort of motivation ceramah), they invite a master to give us a talk, he talked and wanted us to do something which already against my religion, so I really hate it and straight back to my hotel room and take a nap. So overall it was an unpleasant trip for me and a waste of time for me. :(

Balik Pulau short getaway(July)

It was a short short 2d1night trip with my church members where we had our retreat at Balik Pulau, I decided to join last minute and it was worth it hahaha We went to visit the goat farm which feed it hahahaha it was so hot inside and the animal smell all in there but I get to feed the goat and the baby goatttt! So cute hahahaha 

Look the baby goat is smiling!!!

so cuteeeee

After a short break we went to balik kampung to rent a bicycle and ride through the rice paddy field, we biggest midnight, I don't know how to ride a bike!!!! But thanks to teacher Amos I can ride and back safely, even though I fell off once, hahahaha a big success liao hahaahha 

with my little bike

selfie with the owner

After that we have our gathering and the next day we have some sharing from Pastor Ger wei and we went back home during noon time. 2 days well spend with them hehehe

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“我不想再这样了” 

I know some times we did things like a couple, people say our relationship is like a speed of a light, so fast from 0 jump to 100, but getting to know you for these 5 months, serve together, we fought in the beginning and we know each other even more, you take care of me so much, that even when I sick you came down and bring me to consult doctor, with my ugly sick pale face, but you don't mind at all. hahaha Last night after a movie we hang out in my house and you said 我不想再这样了, I don't know what you're saying but I feel something odd and scared that you made a decision of stop this relationship. and then, *bomb*!!! The question that makes me nod my head hahaha finally, not a friend, not a close friend, not friend zone friend hahahaha 

Hami angle also hen hao kan!

Michelle

It's been so long since my last update, I'm back with full of positive energy and love hehehehehe :3 Let me regain my memories back from June...... Hmmmm D-camp!

D-camp

This year is quite a tough year for me, preparation, name tags, booklets, little angels, everything! Even though name tag bracelets were a total failure but hope juniors will learn from me and won't repeat the same mistakes haha! Bracelets are No-No hahahaha Despite of all these struggles, I still enjoy this year camp and I can say this year would be my memorable year ever hehehe well, all thanks to my dear members, helpers, assist. and last but not least my teacher HAHA Amos and I became close friends after served in camp together, Thank God for giving us chance to serve together. 

Hahaha these are my members, all so sporty and active!

茫茫人海中 只看到你哈哈哈哈哈哈

to be honest this photo sipek ugly, but duh this is the only photo nia hahaha

Even though is incomplete but still complete in heart <3

That's all for D-camp! ;)

Nothing much happened during on July and August but get back my butt to work, this time I worked at a daycare centre as a 'part-time teacher', at Strawberryland. Hahahaha what a beautiful name. I underestimated this job, thought it would be just a teaching and taking care of children that's all, I was wrong, I was so so so wrong. To be frankly I hate this job so much, the teachers there were not friendly, I did things more than a teacher supposed to do, more like a free secretary for them :'( well, what make me get up early in the morning and go to work, my kids there, there are so cute that I could hug them whole day long, just one word : "teacher Michelle" my heart just melted. And the babies, I COULDN'T RESIST. Gosh, their smile and their actions are so adorable. This motivates me to work everyday. I can say that I learnt a lot of things through this job, thanks for the opportunity.

September
Month of traveling! hahaha this is also the month I get in touch with insurance career, I hope this career really help me in making my dreams and goals come true. I know 'if you work hard you will definitely see the results', but the first step is terrifying as Im always living my comfort zone. It's time to grow up and live a better life and better future :) So touched Amos  made a decision of  having the same agency with me, makes me even want to fight more for future, hope I can succeed in the examination in order to proceed my first step of new life new environment. Thankfully he's with me and I will not be alone anymore :3

Langkawi
A lot of you may know by now that I went to langkawi trip with Amos and his friends, I was not going to tell anyone actually but social media always revealing secrets hahahaha I had a wonderful trip with them and well taken cared by them, I like it when his friends keep on reveals his things to me, his love towards tech, "likes to clean the dishes", "likes to clean his room and clothes" hahahahha I burst into laughter when his friends being sarcastic hahahaha I felt so sorry because I didn't get enough of sleep before the trip and eventually getting sleepy sometime. I felt so burden too because everyone of them are teachers, everyone except me. So shy so paiseh, but they are so friendly that I can feel the warm welcome hehehe hope I get the chance to travel with you guys again! hahaha will post another post for langkawi trip! So here's the teaser hahahahaha

NICE RIGHTTTTTTT I ALSO LIKE IT SO MUCH HAHAHAHA

will be update more details about my trip to langkawi and more such as KL trip too. So goodbye for now heee

Michelle

Disappointment

I understand that how much you love a person, you cared, you protect, you love, you'll do everything in order to protect the relationship. I know you will have jealousy or maybe scare that there's might be a person will fall for your man or your girl. But there is a limit of all things, stop letting the jealousy thoughts or bad feelings step on you. So please respect the people like others do. I learn to be more distance and avoiding you guys already. I didn't even have any good feelings to your boyfriend, I treat you and your boyfriend like my family, but this is how I get, I am so sad, instead of being upset or mad, I am full of disappointment. :( I am sad how you making yourself as a victim, and making me like I am the one hurting you while I am not, I didn't even chat or talk to your boyfriend, all of these making me feel like a victim, I very sayang every single one of you, like my own sister, but you never trusted me, making me the third wheel out of the blue, making people thought lay choo is this type of person. I am sad, I don't even know I felt offended or felt betrayed, or felt lonely or felt anything. Not the first time already, but it's getting worst, until you showed some hatred to my face, and I don't know why. I feel so sad, I feel like a victim while you think you are the victim :(

I love you as a sister, and I always do. 

Michelle