Fool

Life after final exam, it's like holidayyyy. LOL Skip school every Monday and Thursday, because of Account. I hate school so much haha Time passes so fast and October almost end now, everything doesn't seem right.
Hey you, please respect others privacy, no matters what you should not do that to me. I need privacy too, I have something to tell you, if I were you I won't disturb any of your privacy. Yes I mean it. I am so disappointed on you, really disappointed. I treat you as friend, be your good listener, be there when you're sad, tried my very best to advice, courage you, support you, I ended up getting this thing, I felt betrayed, by you.
You guys, I'm totally speechless toward you guys. I tried everything, everything. I guess we're not the same channel at all :'( That feeling of being ignored was so scary tho. Hope you guys know the feeling. Nope eu don't. it's okay, never mind.
Somehow, lately I felt so lonely, I want to go out but there was nobody company. I even asked my brother to went out with me, well friends above sister, he chose friends. LOLL So I stayed at home like the nerdy does. Patheticcc. I need Hugggs. :'(

A kiss from T.O.P

Michelle

我的感想

到了今天, 我还是没有改变. 无论多少年, 别人对我的印象还是一样. 就是那个非常非常坏的女孩, 对男生hiao, 叛逆的女孩. 我在每个人的眼里藏有以不良一位少女的眼光.
sigh... 我知道我的态度很没礼貌, 很不懂规矩, 不懂事, 不听话, 问题学生. 我一直说我改变了, 变得更加好的女生, 当局者迷, 别人不是这样看待我. 一位吸毒的人,戒了他还是被人说他是吸毒者. 改变不了的事实, 说真的, 我很伤心. 我知道以前的我很恶心, 你们都觉得我很恐怖. 我明白的.

其实, 我很少有谈得来的朋友, 就算是学校的朋友我们彼此也尴尬. 我们谈天的话题根本就谈不来, 不同的话题, 彼此有时也很尴尬完全不讲话. 那么心事我要找谁谈?! 完全没有, 我很辛苦. :(
家里, 当然我和妈咪很好, 当我不会把心事告诉她, 家里也有很多家暴. 我做人姐姐也很辛苦, 完全不明白别人脑袋在想什么. 要的是什么.
我讲的都不是理由, 我真的没有风骚别的男生, 风骚别的人. 我很少犯校规了, 很少进入以前常常拜访的纪律室了. 可以说是没有. :( 谁会相信? LOL :)
我会继续尝试改变, 继续努力. 但我也很累了, 也懒惰当好人了. 我可悲的人生,也许是我自己惹来的.
我多次不能睡都是因为我做过很多噩梦, 都是我的过去在作怪, 一直都浮现在我的脑海里, 我真的真的很想忘掉, 越想忘, 越多的事情浮现在脑袋里. 哭? 都是自己犯的错, 只能怪自己没有用. 没资格哭. shit.

还有那位男的, 不是放不放下, 你对我做了很多事, 我只能原谅, 什么都不能做, 以前我真的又哭又闹, 我知道你的无情, 就这样离开我. 现在你回来, 我以为你改变了, 变了真正的男人, 我错了, 你还是那么无情. 其实我跟你半斤八两, 我以为我们改变了, 其实我们都没有变, 还是一样的败类. :) 你很幸运有我一起陪你失败. 2年了....
I want to forget the past, I want to move on, but I can't, I just can't.
Miserable...

Michelle

Brand new look.

HEYYYY! I'm back with the brand new bloggy look . LOLL yeah, not me. I'm still pretty hahaha. And I deleted every post in my bloggy, even the Philippine's trip D': STUPID ME. D':  Well October is gonna end soon, everything was not okay for me. I happy, mad, upset, disappointed, cry. I keep on complaint that life wasn't fair to me. Why? I don't understand. I can't find any places to keep me warm, sometimes I  just think that I'm rubbish.
At school; I can't really get along with my friends, we have different topics. It's hurt so much. At home; I can't communicate with my lil bro. We always ended up fighting or arguing.
I AM SAD, DO YOU KNOW? D':
I really try my best, but  it useless. Feel so miserable, like I'm gonna losing my friends. Am I that pathetic?
Everything I done was wrong. Everything. You keep on yelling, scolding at me, can't we just calm down and talk smoothly? Then I've to act like nothing's wrong and smile at mom, for not getting her worry. Yeah, it kills whenever I smile.

And you, such a player, I hate you.


I told myself a hundred thousand million times, I am strong, this time it doesn't help at all. :(
But I'm alright, always fine. :) I know there's still someone who loves me, me! :D Always love yourself.
okay, end of rubbish talk.  

Michelle. :)